There are many types of personality disorders, and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is one of the most common. However, BPD can be difficult to diagnose in a clinical setting because the symptoms may fluctuate on a daily or weekly basis. Some people may dismiss these symptoms as shifts in mood or attribute them to outside, environmental issues.
Some people experience a type of Borderline Personality Disorder that is more subtle called quiet borderline personality disorder or high-functioning personality disorder.
With high-functioning personality disorder, the symptoms can come and go within a day. So many people with high-functioning BPD will report having good days and bad days.
A good day with high-functioning BPD can be full of good energy and getting tasks done. However, during the “good” days, many people will convince themselves that they do not need treatment. And this is why BPD is so underdiagnosed and not many people know about it.
However, this can be dangerous because, on “bad” days, the individual will regress and will hide their emotional turmoil from others. Nevertheless, someone with high-functioning BPD will still be very capable. However, if something goes wrong, they may start to spiral.
Curious to see if you may be experiencing the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder? This test may serve you as a valuable assessment.
There are countless symptoms of high-functioning BPD, and they can all be categorized as highs and lows of emotional drought and isolation. For example, many people with high-functioning BPD are highly sensitive people. However, they also struggle with emotional numbness.
And you might be confused because how can someone who is highly sensitive, struggle with not feeling anything? Well, one of the phenomena with high-functioning BPD is that it can make the person paralyzed emotionally.
So they will experience every emotion possible all while feeling an internal sense of death. This feeling takes any feelings of joy, hope, or happiness away from them, hence why they feel numb. So it’s a horrible cycle that may feel endless.
Another symptom of high-functioning BPD is Depersonalization Disorder. These symptoms alone can make a person feel unreal and detached from reality. And they may start seeing their own life from an outsider’s perspective. This feeling often leads to uncontrollable thoughts and actions.
Unfortunately, these are only some of the symptoms of high-functioning BPD. Other symptoms may vary within a person with high-functioning BPD. However, it’s important to note that emotional numbness can be the most dangerous one since it can lead to suicidal ideations or completion.
The term “Quiet BPD” is not an official medical term. However, it is used to describe someone with BPD, who doesn’t outwardly show symptoms.
Nevertheless, someone with quiet BPD can still have the same level of uncontrollable emotions when compared to someone with high-functioning BPD. However, they will instead direct their emotions towards themselves, mostly through harmful self-talk.
Most experts agree that borderline personality disorder often makes people act out. However, with quiet BPD, the person will act inward.
So they will manifest intense fears of abonnement, self-inflicted injuries, anxiety, and mood swings. And all of these can come and go within minutes.
You can think of predominantly inattentive as more cerebral, and hyperactive-impulsivity as more physical; those with predominantly inattentive ADHD will make careless mistakes, be easily distracted, appear to not listen, or simply can’t seem to stay organized.
Those with hyperactive–impulsivity presentation will talk excessively, interrupt people, have trouble standing in line, or are unable to sit still without fidgeting.
So you might be thinking, how does BPD affect one’s daily routine? Well for starters, someone with high-functioning BPD will struggle with random mood swings. These are often misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder.
However, there’s a difference between mood swings. Someone with Bipolar Disorder will have a manic episode for weeks on end. But someone with high-functioning BPD can have a manic episode for an hour and then feel okay the next.
They may also struggle with their mood because of triggers. And these triggers can then cause feelings of jealousy, anger, paranoia, anxiety, and depression.
These triggers can destroy healthy relationships, friendships, and family ties! Many people with BPD struggle with keeping long-term friendships and relationships.
A person with high-functioning BPD may also have issues with getting ready in the morning because they have low self-esteem. Their self-image is also ever-changing. One day they might think of themselves as a highly attractive and charismatic person.
And then the next, they will hate everything about themselves and feel unworthy. These feelings can lead to impulsivity, which can cause a person to be hyper-sexual and have multiple sex partners.
There is not a singular reason why a person may develop BPD. However, some factors may contribute to BPD. One of the main factors is early childhood trauma.
Trauma can be categorized as an overwhelming and hurtful experience that someone goes through during their life. Many times trauma comes from a person’s parents. Immature parents can cause a lot of damage to a child’s development.
But trauma can be difficult to heal from since it sits in the subconscious. Not to mention, many children of trauma forget much of the abuse they suffered. So they will have an emotional disparity, but they will physically not be able to remember why. And unfortunately, this is how a lot of BPD comes to be.
You might be asking yourself, what kind of childhood trauma can lead to such disorders later in life? Well, it does not take too much to permanently halt the development phases of a child. But usually, these are the factors that may lead to trauma and BPD:
Other factors could also lead to someone having trauma. However, the ones mentioned above are the most common. During this trauma, your young mind was not able to cope and keep up. This would result in a “split” within your mind.
When the split occurs, part of the mind contained all the trauma and hurt from these experiences. And the other part had to continue on with life.
And since little support was given, these coping mechanisms became the only tool for survival. However, over time these tools become outdated. And this is when most people begin to show signs of emotional disparities.
Therefore, parts of you cannot keep up with peers, especially in school, jobs, relationships, and friendships. But the other part of you will try to overcompensate by acting like a hyper adult.
However, most people with BPD never feel like “real adults.” They may play the part well. However, their experiences and trauma can still easily trigger them at any given time.
First of all, everyone has an “inner child.” Those who had a healthy childhood with good parents will have a fulfilled inner child. Their inner child will fuel their creativity in adulthood.
However, those who suffered from trauma will have a scared inner child that needs constant care and emotional support. Many people will try to hide their “inner child” because it can sometimes lead to rejection from others, especially when the emotions are too heavy for someone to handle.
However, by doing this, they also lose their creativity and part of what makes them unique. So the goal of BPD is to address and heal from trauma, and to not suppress the inner child but give it what it needs.
There is not a “cure” for BPD. However, with the right combinations of treatments, the symptoms can be managed. One of the first things a clinician will do is write a plan for recovery.
This plan will have set goals and milestones which will help motivate the patient. And throughout the recovery, the clinician will keep track of the patient’s progression.
It’s pretty normal for patients to make progress and then regress. Luckily, the best clinician will adjust their treatment plan to decrease regressions.
During treatment, a clinician may explore other treatment options as well. In fact, many patients with BPD will do multiple treatments at the same time. For example, a patient can do individual, family, and group psychotherapy.
Not all treatments have to be done. However, sometimes addressing the issue in a group setting can make the patient feel less ostracized. And since BPD is mostly caused by early childhood trauma, family therapy can help navigate these issues.
Another possible treatment is medication. Although medication cannot cure BPD, it will help with the symptoms. For example, many clinicians will treat the anxiety and depression associated with BPD.
Educational seminars and life skills classes can also be very beneficial for BPD. These classes can provide helpful information on how to self-soothe during emotional stages and how to overcome daily hurdles with BPD.
Holistic methods are very popular now, especially among younger generations. This approach teaches self-control, awareness, and mind over matter techniques. All of these techniques help to relieve stress and control the symptoms of BPD.
Lastly, any individual with severe symptoms of BPD such as suicidal plans should seek crisis help. Once they become stabilized, other forms of care can begin. But until then, the best form of treatment will be with a psychiatric facility.
If you are struggling with BPD, you should journal at least once a day. When you journal, write down what you are feeling at that exact moment. Are you feeling happy, sad, scared, or maybe a combination of feelings?
Then try to distinguish why you are feeling this way. Is it because someone said something to you at work? Or maybe your partner did something? Whatever the reason may be, try to get to the root cause of it. If you cannot establish a cause, then you are experiencing hyper-sensitive emotional numbness.
So if this is the case, connect with your numbness. Try to picture it in your head as a person. Ask it what it needs to feel whole again.
Next, you must acknowledge all of your emotions, good or bad. Specifically, you want to acknowledge your sadness. Doing so will be a lot easier once you let go of any emotional numbness. You will also be more compassionate about your sadness. Therefore, you’ll be better equipped to work through it with care and time.
The goal is to understand your sadness. So get close to it, acknowledge it, ask it what it needs. Remember that sadness and other emotions are not your enemies. They are only responses from your external environment and past experiences.
These steps will help you get a better understanding of all of the emotional stages that you may go through.
Aside from professional treatments and medications, changing some aspects of your life may help. For example, people who suffer from depression and anxiety have been able to reduce their stressors by eating healthier. In fact, many studies have found that certain diets can improve your gut and brain health.
So if your main symptoms of BPD are depression and anxiety, start with your diet first and monitor any changes. Next, try to improve your daily routine. Start by waking up at a specific time every day and then do one chore.
This simple step can jumpstart your day and can lower stress levels. You should also try your best to build a good support system around you.
Only have friends and family that understand your journey with BPD and are willing to help! Overall, these steps can help but getting extended treatment will be your best option.
Having a high-functioning borderline personality disorder can be difficult but not impossible. So don’t feel like you are alone in this fight. There are countless options that can help manage your symptoms so you can live a long and happy life.
So if you think you’re ready to change your life, contact us today and schedule an appointment!
Jamie Mantel is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, with a Psy.D. in psychology. Jamie has worked for non-profits for over 20 years working with agencies, as well as her private practice in Huntington Beach, California.
