Maintining Healthy Relationships
Maintaining a healthy relationship is a two-way street. It takes treating others well, while ensuring you are being treated well in return. Being self aware of your own actions and how it impacts others is of utmost importance. On the flip side, a healthy relationship is also about getting what you need from another person. Both take courage and self-awareness.
Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You
It’s the Golden Rule. If you want to be treated with respect, compassion and kindness, consider how you treat others. If you aren’t giving of yourself, you can’t expect that in return. At the same time, if you aren’t being treated the way you are treating another person, it may not be a healthy relationship.
What Other People Think of You is None of Your Business
If you are constantly worrying about what someone thinks of you, being true to yourself is a risk. You will find yourself doing things to elicit the response you want from others, waiting for approval. D’Amore Healthcare calls this process running in circles. If you are good to others, don’t let someone else’s opinion bring you down. Especially if you are waiting to find out what they think of you! In truth, their opinion is not your business. What is important is whether you have self-compassion and are living in step with your own values.
I’m Sorry You Feel That Way
You don’t have to agree with another person to have a healthy relationship. Disagreeing is natural because we are all different people. If someone does not agree with you or like your behavior, you don’t have to react and sometimes you do not need to change. Simply tell the person you are sorry they feel that way and move on. Defending authenticity and individualism means accepting others, while showing yourself respect. The best way to know when it needs to go one step further is by asking a confidant (sponsor, coach, counselor) their opinion of the relationship, once you have shared your heart.
People Treat You the Way You Allow Them To
Setting boundaries when people treat you poorly is not easy. But, it’s necessary for a healthy relationship. You need to set expectations around the type of behavior you find acceptable. If someone is constantly treating you in a way you do not like, ask yourself what you are doing to allow it to continue. It’s okay to express your feelings and set boundaries more than once.
People will forget what you said or did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel – Maya Angelou
Know that people may forget certain situations, but the feelings that are created can linger. Think about how what you say or do impacts those you care about. If you know something will hurt someone, pause for longer than you find comfortable or convenient. A healthy relationship requires compassion towards yourself, as you continue to learn about yourself and your needs.
Live and Let Live
Just because you don’t like what someone else does, doesn’t mean you have a right to tell them what to do. You have the right to live your life the way you want. And so do others. America is a beautiful and special place for individualism and dynamic connection. Letting each other be is key to a healthy relationship. A world of vanilla, everyone thinking and acting the same, would be intolerable and it would invalidate some of life’s greatest gifts.
Have An Attitude of Gratitude
Be grateful for the relationships you have. When someone does something nice for you or shows you a kindness, thank them. Showing your appreciation goes a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Stay connected, stay motivated and chances are you will enjoy a happy, healthy, less-stress life! To learn more, contact us or call 714.375.1110
D’Amore Healthcare is a dual diagnosis and substance abuse addiction treatment center in Orange County, CA.
